He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
