I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize