she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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