ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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