i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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