But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.