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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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