Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...