People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"