When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite