Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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