I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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