I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
