Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Actions speak louder than pants.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
