THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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