This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
