i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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