You smell like stripper and shame
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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