i jhust puked up my retainher.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail