I showed him my bush... on skype.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.