Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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