I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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