he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize