I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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