I accidentally burped into my bong.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
