She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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