This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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