she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize