his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize