That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
