its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
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Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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