I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize