For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's like iHOP with fire
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
