And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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