I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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