i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's never too late to be topless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
