Yo dont text me then not text me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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