windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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