My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.