My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
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See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?