This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.