she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.