its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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