Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
