Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm going to jail i love you
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
