margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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