do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
