I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
