if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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