remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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