I think about you every night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
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no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is