Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm