You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.