Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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