I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.