omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
nutella sex= disaster
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.