i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements