After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize