you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
