Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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