When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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