Will you blow on my dice?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize